So I started yet another diet. Sigh. It's probably the 5000th one I've done in my lifetime and it probably won't be the last. It's my version of the ever popular "Slow Carb" or "4 hour body" or whatever the f*ck it's called. In short it eliminates most of my favorite food groups: Cheese and carbs. After a little more than 2 weeks (it seems like 2 years at this point), I am desperately craving everything I'm not supposed to eat. I have "cheated" like the diet says you can, but seriously, I want a giant pile of nachos with cheese, sour cream, and a side of mac and cheese. And pizza. And extra carbs in my mashed potatoes for dessert. Ugh. At the same time I want to dive into the dairy-carbed out deliciousness, I am actually AFRAID of those foods now. I see them and I immediately hear the dialogue in my head about you can have some, You can't have some. You *could* have some, But you *shouldn't* have any. But you could have it all. So now I'm teetering precariously on the edge of f*ck this stupid ass diet and maybe if I keep doing this, I'll actually be skinny. Right. I know I'll NEVER be skinny. Even when I was skinny (by society's standards) I was still fat. And in case you're wondering, yes, I have eating/food issues. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, purged it, and started again.
Isn't there a magic pill or something? Sigh.......
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